Please remember to make mental notes so you’re a better parent than your dad.
Your father is teaching you what NOT to do with your own kids when you are older. Why is my dad like this?Īnswer: I’m so sorry you’re one of the millions of kids with a dad who is really hard to live with. I can't do anything in his mind, and I wish that my dad would care and love me as other dads love their children. I can't have friends without him making racist comments. He tells me not to eat, which makes me want to starve to death. I do stuff right, but he still finds a way to yell at me. I see other kids that are happy, and they spend time with their parents. Question: I feel like my dad doesn't love or care about me. We don’t know what the future holds but you should not lose sight of the good parts of how life is in the ‘now.’
I understand that you don’t trust your dad, but if he’s doing his best to support you and your mom, you have to give him some credit for that mentally. Just concentrate on staying out of trouble, so things don’t get any more difficult than they already are. Don’t get involved in the dynamics of your parents’ relationship. I believe you should be concentrating on studying and having fun with your friends as well as being an active, helpful member of your family. Should you touch your father’s phone? Never! If you bring his cheating out into the open air, your parents will have no way to continue the way they are now. If you confront your mother or your father you will completely change the dynamic within your home. They are probably both trying to protect you from harsh realities and keep life ‘normal’ so you can go to school and grow up without any more drama than is necessary. But it would probably break her heart if she knew that you knew. You figured it out, so there’s every likelihood she has as well. Your mother might already know your dad’s cheating. Perhaps he’s just coping the best way he can. But maybe she’s not meeting his emotional or physical needs, and so he’s cheating on her. But life is complicated so here’s what I want you to think about. I want you to try and get your head around this, without messing with your sense of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ because you obviously have a moral backbone and that’s good. And if your dad doesn’t mistreat you, I’m not sure there’s anything to be gained from telling her. If your mom is disabled and can’t earn an income without your dad, what’s she going to do? If your dad treats her well (apart from cheating on her), she’s probably happy how things are. I don’t know why you were looking in your dad’s phone, but you should stay away from it. What can I do in this situation?Īnswer: You are in a challenging position, and I’m sorry there’s no simple solution. Lately, my dad makes it really obvious, and I find myself kind of protecting him. I haven't told anyone because I think it will be a painful for everyone. Should I tell this to my mom? She's not independent, and neither am I. So my dad is cheating on my disabled mom. Question: I have a complicated relationship with my dad. I don’t want to sound mean, but she needs to be the grown-up, not you. Your mother is the one who should be focusing on creating a better home environment for you. You should concern yourself with study and friends and developing skills that will help with your future.
I believe you should be telling your mother to talk with her friends, her family or even go online. What should we do? What can we do?Īnswer: I understand it frustrates you, but it worries me when kids feel they need to parent their parents. My mum is struggling as she does with everything. He doesn’t cook or clean, is selfish, doesn’t help my mum financially, won’t leave because he won’t cook for himself, and doesn’t listen. Question: My dad complains about everything.